A guided grief journal written to help you process the loss of a spouse or partner, with separate editions for a husband, a wife, and a partner.
The short answer. Still With Me is a guided grief journal that helps you process the loss of a spouse or partner by writing through it, with 80 written prompts across 9 chapters in 120 pages, sized 6 × 9 inches, in paperback at $29.99 or hardcover at $39.99. For the loss of a spouse there are three editions: Husband, Wife, and Partner. Every copy is printed to order at a local facility in your region and arrives 7 to 12 business days after you order.
A note before anything else
Losing a spouse takes away the person you would normally tell about it. It is not only the loss of someone you loved but of the daily infrastructure of your life: the shared plans, the other income, the person who knew what you meant without you finishing the sentence. Support tends to be loud for two weeks and quiet from month two onward, exactly when it gets harder. Please do not carry it alone: early widowhood carries real risks to health, and asking a doctor or a grief counselor for help is not an overreaction. Writing does not make any of that smaller. What it does is give the grief somewhere to go: one question at a time, you work through what happened, and keep what you remember of them while you do. If today is unbearable, please look at our help page; in the US, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be called or texted at any hour.
Which spouse loss edition to choose
| Edition | Choose it when |
|---|---|
| For the Loss of a Husband | You are a widow, or you are giving the journal to one. The prompts say husband throughout. Read more about this grief journal for the loss of a husband. |
| For the Loss of a Wife | You are a widower, or you are giving the journal to one. The prompts say wife throughout. Read more about this grief journal for the loss of a wife. |
| For the Loss of a Partner | They were not married, or the words husband and wife do not fit the relationship. Neutral wording throughout. It is also the right edition for same-sex partners and long-term unmarried couples. |
What is inside
The same nine chapters run through every edition, written to be worked through slowly rather than finished:
- Who you were: their character, their habits, their voice
- Our beginning: how you met, the early years
- Everyday moments: the ordinary shared life that goes first
- What you taught me: what you carry from them now
- The hard parts: the last months, the things left unsaid
- What I miss: named plainly, without tidying it up
- Letters to you: open pages for writing directly to them
- Carrying you forward: rituals, dates, what stays
- Still with me: where you are now
Every prompt is a question with room to answer, not a blank page. The full specification and a comparison with a blank notebook is on the guided journal vs blank notebook page.
Try the prompts before you buy anything
There is no need to buy a journal to start writing. We publish free prompt sets for this loss, with a printable PDF at no cost:
If you want the reasoning behind the practice first, read our gentle guide to grief journaling and what research says about writing through loss. If today is hard, our help page lists places to turn.
Giving it to a widow or widower
Widowhood tends to be loud for two weeks and silent afterwards. A journal is one of the few sympathy gifts that still works in month three, when the cards have stopped, and it asks nothing of the person who receives it. Our sympathy gift guide covers what to write in the card, and the gift sets page pairs a journal with a memorial candle.
People look for this in different words: a sympathy gift for someone who lost their husband or wife, a memorial keepsake, a remembrance book, a bereavement gift for the loss of a spouse. What it is, plainly, is a guided book of eighty questions to write to the person they shared a life with in, bound to be kept. Unlike flowers or a card it is not gone within the week, and unlike a blank notebook it does not ask the person to decide what to write on a day when deciding anything is hard.
Frequently asked questions
What is the best grief journal for the loss of a spouse?
One written for that specific relationship rather than for grief in general, because prompts that name a husband, a wife or a partner reach a shared life that generic prompts do not. Still With Me publishes a separate husband, wife and partner edition, each with 80 prompts across 9 chapters.
Which edition should I choose if we were not married?
The Partner edition. It uses neutral wording throughout, which is also the right fit for same-sex partners and long-term unmarried couples.
Is a guided journal a good gift for a widow or widower?
Yes, and it works particularly well after the first month, when other support falls away. Unlike flowers or a meal, it does not need to be responded to and can sit unopened until they are ready.
How long does it take to arrive?
Every copy is printed to order at a local facility in your region. Printing takes 3 to 5 business days, and most US orders arrive 7 to 12 business days after you order. Shipping is a flat $6.49 to the US and $8.49 to Canada on every journal, $8.75 to $13.45 within the EU depending on the order, and $9.00 to most other countries, and the exact rate for your address shows at checkout.
Can I start it years after they died?
Yes. Nothing in the journal assumes a recent death or a fixed order, and many people begin around an anniversary rather than in the first weeks. The prompts about a shared life work as well at ten years as at ten days.
Is journaling a substitute for grief support?
No. Writing can give grief somewhere to rest, but it is a personal practice, not a treatment. If your grief feels unbearable, please reach out to a doctor, a counselor or a grief support professional. In the US, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can be called or texted at any hour.
What is a good sympathy gift for a widow or widower?
Something that still makes sense after the first two weeks, when the flowers and cards have stopped. A guided journal written for the loss of a spouse is one option: eighty questions about them, bound as a keepsake, that the person can open when they are ready and put down when they are not. Other gifts that hold up over time are help with the practical things that now fall on one person, a meal delivered later rather than sooner, and using their partner's name in your card.
See all twenty editions on the shop editions page, or find the right one on who it is for.